How to Avoid Divorce Among Celebrities in Malaysia
Prepared by Ismawaty bt Md Sidik (G76145)
Divorce is the way out from the problem that cannot be resolved although many efforts that have been made. Divorce is one of the solutions that is legal but is hated by Allah s.w.t. We had been asked to get the best solution before making the final decision that is divorce. For example, take a look at the scenario of artists today; most of them get married after having a long love relationship. However, we see many of them end in divorce even though they have known each other for years. There are many reasons why this problem happens.
Miscommunication is one of the reasons why people who marry because of love but finally get divorced. This problem becomes worse when the husband and wife did not have enough knowledge about a marriage. A counselor at National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN), Suriani Buang, said that marriage between artists become challenging when they do not know how to settle the problem. It will become worse if the problem is not solved as soon as possible. In addition, she said that communication between man and women is important because it will influence the marriage whether it will give happiness and peace. If we compare man and women, a man is rational while a woman is emotional. Understanding the attitude and feelings of one another is one way to become happy besides tolerance in making the decision. Besides, before getting married they should know each other to make sure that they feel comfortable with each other after getting married.
Like anything else, communication is a two way interaction. One person cannot do all the talking while the other one do all the listening. Talking is a skill that most of us are born with, but very few of us have really mastered, or even tried to master the fine art of listening. You need to listen to what your partner is saying, and value that input since that is what they are thinking, that is what they are at right now. They are probably giving us clues, like a road map, in terms of how to get back on the on the same track.
First, determine what has caused the couple to stop communicating effectively. In today’s world, the answer to that is often the fact that both of them are working full time. At the end of the day, they have very little energy left to devote to their relationship. Such a situation is not good and will inevitably without fail be detrimental to their relationship. One should make an effort to communicate with his or her spouse after a long hard day at work. It may actually help them to unwind, instead of rerunning the day’s hassles in they mind, to put those things out of they mind and concentrate on something else, like their spouse, what they did today, and what was important in their day. Showing interest in one another is always a step closer towards effective communication and bonds the husband and wife.
For some couples, however, this is not enough. They have drifted too far apart for too long of a time to be able to effectively reestablish communication between them. There are more alternatives that can be taken before a divorce should be considered. All aspects have to be very seriously considered prior to deciding to end the marriage, because in a surprising number of cases, divorce was only one of many viable options.
Marriage counseling can be a very effective instrument in putting a marriage that seems to be going down the divorce path back onto the right track. Counseling helps couples among celebrities to identify the root of their marital problems and solve them with a little help from a professional counselor trained in mediation. Finding an effective marriage counselor, however, requires a bit of work on they part. Many counselors’ will offer a free consultation. Ask for recommendations from friends, but in part they should call 10 or more counselors, ask for their price packages ahead of time and then schedule consultations with the 3 or 4 that meet their budget.
There are also many self-help tools available in the market today. There are some excellent books and articles on how to make marriages work, how to re-ignite the spark in a relationship and how a few simple steps can bring back the love in a relationship that had turned hateful. Both partners can get a lot of inspiration, advice and ideas on how to make relationships work from such books and articles. You can even find help when you think there is infidelity in your marriage. There are books and articles out there, which tell you why people cheat or stray and what they can do about it.
Sexual problem is also one of the factors that lead to the lack of understanding between husband and wife. The counselor at National Population and Family Development Board (LPPKN), Suriani Buang said that sexual relation between husband and wife is one thing that should be given attention seriously. They must not feel ashamed to discuss about this matter.
“In these matter (sexual relation between husband and wife), partners should not be shame or fear to admit the weakness or problem that they faced because if they remain silent without discussion it will become worse and can cause divorce.
“Partners don’t need to be worried about the problem because all problems can be settled through discussion among them or they can go for consultation with the expert to settle the problem”. She said.
Husband and wife should have a clear objective for a successful marriage. If the marriage is only based on desire of sex without any objective, the marriage will not succeed. Therefore, all couple must understand the responsibility and commitment involved before getting married.
There are many resorts that have specially created an ambience which is conducive to romance. These vacation packages are easy to find and only requires you to be on the look out. The point of these resorts is to reinvigorate a relationship by introducing some of the passion and spontaneity that over time can be watered down by obligations and daily responsibilities. These events attempt to eliminate outside stresses so that you can focus on your spouse, and in so doing rekindle the love you feel for one another.
All in all, if you are willing to put in your best efforts to stop your marriage from slipping away, there is now help at hand and you need not have to fight alone. By utilizing the tools of counselors, self help and resorts you can go a long way to giving your marriage the best chance for survival. But beyond survival, these tools can help ensure you a happy lifelong relationship.
The reason divorce among artist become worse is because of the involvement of the people who gain profit from selling the sensational story of the artist and celebrity. In TV program like “Melodi” at TV3, we feel hate in the segment ‘terjah’ where the reporter show the intensity in disclosing the secret and privacy of artists and celebrities. They are seemed like the ‘paparazzi’ in Hollywood and they are one of reason why the problem becomes worse. The influence from media is a factor that marriage becomes worse although the problem can be solved with a right way. [http://syukran.wordpress.com/2008/11/11/media-massa-punca-kes-perceraian-artis-malaysia-meningkatdan-ini-memalukan-islam/]. The writer in this web gives an opinion regarding the reporter that love to talk about the marriage of artist. Divorces among artist are the hottest story that the reporter like to disclose. There are also artists who share about their marriage to the public that to gain the popularity and glamour. Therefore, strategic alliance or smart partnership between media and artist is a reason the divorce is a sensational issue that closes the thinking part of Muslim.
Marriage counselor from Access Counseling Services, Meriam Omar Din, agrees that the failure in marriage is because of the modern living without applying traditional values. She said, the principal of marriage is one of pure relation that must be defended, in any circumstances, but divorce has been chosen as the way out for the conflict. She said that compared to the past few years, couples nowadays feel that their marriage is not valuable to be maintained.
Every marriage hits a rough spot occasionally. While not every marriage should be attempted to be salvaged, a great many more that are saved today should and can be through concerted efforts. So, the first step in avoiding divorce is recognizing that the fact that you have come to this point in your relationship is not unusual, but it does indicate that something must be changes if it is to survive. But before you go through a mental litany of everything that needs to change as justification for giving up, realize that there is help out there and if you are willing to put in the time and commitment, you can make your marriage work even when it seems that you and your partner have reached the end of the road.